Instances of letting go

Standard

Breakups are least to say difficult. But what’s worse are encountering them in unexpected places. This is a little instance where time ended up playing tricks on me and let me collide literally with my past.

Instances 2/50

Advertisements

Instances of dread

Standard

A lot has happened in the last year after I stopped writing. I was a melting pot for some victories, a Lil’ of chronic depression and a lot of yo-yo-ing in life where nothing seemed right. While there is a deep pain in suffering, there are words in this too. These next 50 days I’ll write to you all that small instances which were chinks in my armour, the holes in the fortress that seemed so strong. I don’t know if they would always be my vulnerabilities, but I know that saying them out loud might after all help me.

Heres the first one, the instance of dread I feel, more so when I am forced to interact with people unknown for prospective relationships that I can actually forgo.

Unburden

Standard

Life begins before you’re born,
A steady rise of hopes,
A castle of dreams,
A body form to live upto these.

“You’re a gem” he says,
making him the artisan,
Taming the rough edges,
Polishing the surface of your flaws.

“You’re my pride” he says,
and the gem glows
like slow embers inside a dark hollow.
“You’re my joy” he says,
Fuelling those flames, inside a shell.

“You’re my treasure” he says,
I can’t let you go,
For falling into the wrong hands,
My end may follow.

“You’re my glory” he says,
Putting you on a pedestal,
But why are you so precious,
He would not know.

“Free me of these binds” you ask once,
To the shock of most,
“Perhaps soon” he says,
Binding you with hope.

“Let me shine” you ask,
For love knows no binds,
“You’re a treasure, my love and your value is infinite”.

“Unshackle me, for these gold binds are no freedom”
“You’re my crown, my darling” he says
“A responsibility -”
“I can’t let you be”
“I can only unburden you off me.”

Destruction in Four parts.

Quote

Unsteady, this life,
Falling into the pages,
Between others stories,
Encouraged by mere words,
Finding neither the end or the beginning.

Unsteady, these dreams,
Built from dusk to dawn,
Unraveled thread by thread,
Forced into the misery of now.

Unsteady, Blaming none,
These dark inked fingers,
Washing the evidence of blood,
These bruises of defeat,
paying an ode to the carcass of memories.

Unsteady, Moving ahead,
Breathing, smiling,
Tripping into the furnace
of naive hopes and mad dreams
once again.

I haven’t written in a while now, the words wouldn’t come to me. When words become your friends, their alienation hurts. You can’t complain to anyone about them, just that  the loss is a ghost pain. So when they do come back, I celebrate!Gregariously and morbidly even. As always, the mending of a broken person is a treasure trove of inspiration.

The Dance

Standard

I’ve been meaning to learn to dance for about a year now, and I somehow never get to it( largely because of my two left feet and klutzy-ness) So while I was working on some illustrations with a Nat Cole song playing in the background I stumbled across this in my old sketchbook. Maybe I did learn to dance around and with words.

take two steps towards honesty
sway my hips abandoning all,
Slip and slide and eventually lie.

YOU,

take the lead,
moving and gathering me in your arms,
walking back,
breaking away from the buzz,
needing a pause.

WE

moved well,
when the beats played fast.
took the floor by a storm.
Stopped only when,
both of us faltered and fell down.

THEY,

Whistled and hooted when we started,
gave us space while showing us off,
mocked our eagerness behind our backs.
were eventually wrongly right,
about our lasts.

Paris, In retrospect

Standard

Re-collecting,
The stranded sea shells,
About answers missed,
Forgetting statements said.

Posing with memories,
Suspended within;
masked by unfinished lines,
Delusions of blurred visions.

Like a street of crowded scenes,
That engulf before learning to breath.
Disoriented,
Staring at the voice,
Speaking but unable to see.

Drenched with inabilities,
We pause,
Restlessly and painfully aware,
Of an absence,
Existing in you and perhaps me,
Unnoticed by one too many.