Its day 8,the last 3 hours of the fucking deadline and I cant seem to write anything that makes even some remote sense including this goddamn blog! like seriously. I think that to want to be a wannabe PSTT(pretty stupid thesis thing)yes! thing, you will never be a person by the end of it. If you aren’t reduced to a shriveled up tomato or a fungus filled papaya you just haven’t done your thesis right! It’s necessary to have a support system that ptsstsss you about everything or just gets you some really expensive alcohol so that you may write your thesis in oblivion. There are things one MUST do in the crunch time.
1) Rename your thesis. Yes ! call it “Inglorious Bastards”- a study of the fuck all people you get to meet on a weekday afternoon who are as shady as you are. If you think a Torintino title is too posh, stick to the Desi kind like “Choli ke peche kya hai?”-a study of the unearthed idea of feminism that you probably never can because you are too busy writing this thesis.
2) CITE until you die. This means throughout the thesis period, record your life on a Dictaphone. and then cite your neighbors grandma or you coffee vendor at the end of the street for some off-the-rack philosophy like “bro’s before hoes”( the grandma wouldn’t say this) or “my boyfriend says that i have the prettiest hair”( this the grandma might say)
3)Post it notes everywhere. Thesis has a pre trauma symptoms like forgetfulness and highly efficient sleep.So tackle it all with post it notes. Or go MOMENTO on yourself and tatoo your research question on your forearm. It might work or even worse during the end of the thesis it might change. SO stick to post it notes.
4)Bring an MLA home. Yes , bring your very own Member of Legislative Assembly home. Only he can save you from this disaster called thesis with his/her higher political connections. Otherwise whatever bullshit you have brewed so far might not even be valid.
5)Eat Pizza. Just because its easily delivered to your door and goes well with any mood. Also Pizza makes you Thirsty ,which is a good reason to drink water and hydrate. Also bathroom breaks are the most golden hour for prime ideas(this post was one of those golden ideas)
6) Give up on ANTI-social life. Like seriously , the more you are alone, the more psychopathic your ideas would lean towards. So trust me, you can still plot the killing of your next victim while sitting in a cafe not brooding about your thesis.
7) Play PAPERBASKET. No, don’t fucking switch on your posh iPhone. Install an actual physical paper basket and shoot the crap you keep writing into it. It’s not a stress buster but you will philosophically acknowledge that your crap at least goes into a designated place.
Okay ! I got to run now…the thing is , I just had another brilliant idea about my literature review. PSTT out!